Date me

I am now 33 years old, aka my 'jesus year,' which means I'll be doing my most important work and/or die a painful death. I'd really love to find a partner to put through that emotional roller coaster. ?.

Life's hitting right now: Carved out my dream career, surrounded by ride-or-die souls, and obsessed with pursuits that keep me up at night. Looking for someone to dive into this chaos with me. Ready to build an empire of memories together.

Me...

I'm the friend who will help you hide the body

My art is tattooed on three bodies. I've officiated four weddings, and I've been a groomsman four times (so far)... All of this is to say that I am the kind of person who my friends love and trust. I'll fly out and show up in court for their custody battles, I'm the first at their doorstep when they need company and the last on the dance floor at their wedding, because I think my friends deserve the best.

Friendship is an art I deeply care about. I have active group chats with friends I’ve known since I was five years old, and I sporadically volunteer long voice messages of funny stories from my life to keep in touch with long-distance besties.

"The pursuit IS happiness"

These words are tattooed on my ribs as a tribute my defining belief that the process is more important than the outcome. I enjoy pursuing goals more than achieving them. The pursuit provides purpose. I have no fixed plans to arrive anywhere, I'm here to enjoy the journey.

I love being in the kitchen. As an ex-neuroscientist, the kitchen is the closest thing I have to a lab bench now. Give me a Saturday to conduct experiments with fire and steel, channeling Miles Davis through my knife work. Time dissolves when I'm coaxing a roux into submission, executing perfect brunoise maneuvers, or engineering the ideal compound butter for a precisely scored King Trumpet.

More pertinently, romantic relationships are a process of love as much as love of process, and I'm looking for someone who moves through her life the same way.

I feel most alive at the edge of death

I've been dancing with gravity for 13 years as a climber, and have been climbing outside for almost 13 years. I lived in my car for five years during grad school, so I've definitely earned my dirtbag street cred. There is nothing like the camaraderie of managing high-stakes risk together on a big rock wall. I tend to disappear for weekends to be out in the mountains, skiing, running, or climbing.

My body is a weapon I've forged through years of competitive tennis, swimming, hot yoga, rowing, and ultra running. Mind, body, and spirit are one - disrespect any piece and the whole system burns.

Nature is worth protecting regardless of whether humans continue to exist

One time, I had a strong psychedelic vision during a six-hour meditation, where I stood trial in front of every species on Earth for the human crimes against the planet. That vision transformed me from being an armchair environmentalist to full-fledged activist.

My relationship to trees, rocks, and reefs run deep, like a history of give and take, and of mutual nourishment. Imagine less Castaway Wilson, and more The Giving Tree. Movies like Princess Mononoke and WALL-E, and books like Ishmael tug at my heartstrings.

I'm not religious. I'm a Mary Oliver/David Whyte-spiritual and I'm looking for a partner with whom we can love something greater than ourselves.

I have a bone to pick with the word 'ambitious'

If you're not trying to conquer the world, society doesn't consider you ambitious. Bullshit. There's ambition in being the teacher who changes lives, or the partner who loves so deeply it rewrites someone's understanding of connection. That matters more than building another soulless unicorn that feeds off human desperation.

As eldest of my generation across a dozen cousins, I carry the weight of an Asian refugee legacy. It's a mantle I wear with pride. I take my commitment to family seriously, just as much as my ambitions to be a loving father, and an incredible partner.

My scars made me

In another life, I've been arrogant, I've been dismissive of my partner’s needs, I've been callous towards my own emotional health, and I've prioritized my career over my relationships. One time I even left the toilet seat up and hair in the shower in the same day. But if you met me today, you'd be surprised that I was any of these things. Mistakes were my greatest teachers, consequences my tuition. I was a decent partner before, but now I'm evolved. (Point of pride: I’m still friends with all my exes).

Other zealotries

• mind: photography, cinematography, science & technology, climate change, philosophy, politics, theatre, performing stand up comedy, writing, public libraries
• body: climbing, ultramarathons (training for 50 mile this year), hot yoga, tennis, backpacking, dancing, saunas(!), and snow sports.

You...

• Break rules that deserve breaking
• Are continuously evolving
• Live for physical challenges and wild spaces
• Will turn my kitchen into a dance floor
• Promise not to lie if my food is bad
• Laugh at my jokes, even if they're bad

If you think this is worth a shot, email me: date at westleydang com